Quirkly quizzes
The Push and Pull — What's Your Attachment Style?

The Push and Pull

You want it close. You want the exit. Same hour, every time.

About 11% of people who take this get The Push and Pull
AlarmLoud Alarm

Quiet from someone reads as information about you

RoomNeeds Room

You need a door you can walk through to feel like yourself

TellsShows It

Whatever you're feeling reaches the other person

Who you are

Both alarms are wired to the same switch. Distance sets one off, closeness sets off the other, and you can feel yourself flip between them inside a single evening — reaching for someone at nine and needing the apartment to yourself by ten. From the inside it's exhausting. From the outside it looks like you can't make up your mind, which is not what's happening at all.

So you get out ahead of it. You leave a little before you can be left. You go cool before anything can cool on you. You say the sharper version of the sentence because the soft version leaves you standing there with nothing to hold. It works, narrowly: nothing can surprise you. It also removes any chance of finding out you were wrong.

The tell is what happens when someone is kind at exactly the moment you need it most. Most people relax. You get suspicious, or embarrassed, or suddenly very busy. Being cared for at close range is the specific hard part, and it has almost nothing to do with whoever is standing in front of you right now.

This is a pattern, not a personality, and patterns move. What moves this one isn't insight — you have plenty of insight. It's one person being boringly consistent for longer than you expected them to be, while you resist the urge to run the test that proves they'll leave.

#leavesfirst#testsandregretsit#wantsitandfearsit

You know it's you when…

  • You end it in your head first so the real version can't land on you
  • Someone is kind at the exact wrong moment and you go stiff
  • You want them there and want the place to yourself, same night

Who you click with

Try this

Try this · Next time you feel the urge to go cold first, name it out loud instead — one sentence, to them, badly if necessary. Saying it badly still counts.

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Your result card

The Push and Pull result card

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