The Standing Table
Same people, same rhythm, nobody has to organize it.
You are warm and available, and almost never the one who opens the thread
Little contact most days, so there is never much to catch up on
A short list you invest almost everything in, and no plans to extend it
Who you are
A few people, in touch constantly, and it runs without anyone starting it — because it has been running so long that starting is not required. Thursday is Thursday. The thread never closed. You are not the organizer and neither is anyone else.
This is the most sustainable friendship shape there is. There is no maintenance cost, no one is carrying it, and it survives bad months without anybody having to perform enthusiasm. Twenty-year friendships usually look like this.
The closed part is the cost. A rhythm this settled has almost no way for a new person to enter — not from unfriendliness, but because there is no gap to step into. If life moves your few people to other cities, you may discover you have no mechanism for making friends at all.
Once a year, add one person to something that already exists. Cheaper than building anything new.
You know it's you when…
- A weekly thing has run for years without anyone organizing it
- You realized you have no idea how to make a new friend
- A bad month passed and nobody had to perform anything
Who you click with
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