The Pen Pal
Great texter. Nobody has met you twice in a month.
You keep it unnamed long past the point where it needed a name
They get the unedited version before they asked for any version
Your attention lands off the table, and they can feel it
Who you are
On the phone you are warm, funny and unusually open. In person you are hard to schedule. The relationship lives almost entirely in text, and the text is genuinely good, which is why it takes people so long to notice what is missing.
There is nothing dishonest here. The version of you in the messages is the real one — arguably the most real one, since typing gives you the room to be exact. It is just that a life cannot be run on correspondence.
The flag is that the other person is doing all the reaching. You are lovely to hear from and difficult to see, and eventually they work out that being lovely from a distance costs you nothing. That is the moment the warmth starts reading as avoidance.
Put one real, physical, calendar-dated thing in the week. Not a maybe. A day and a time you would be embarrassed to move.
You know it's you when…
- The best conversations of the month all happened over text
- They stopped suggesting plans and you did not notice for weeks
- You are close with people you have seen twice this year
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